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The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy

Your Guide to Open Relationships, Polyamory and Letting Go
Regular price $19.95
Regular price Sale price $19.95
'Refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic' MEG-JOHN BARKER

Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well.

In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way.

Beginning with advice on starting out - such as finding your anchor, figuring out your personal reasons for pursuing non-monogamy, challenging your fears and practicing self-compassion - the book proceeds to cover the emotional aspects of non-monogamous relationships, including dealing with jealousy and judgement, managing anxiety and maintaining independence, as well as practical elements such as scheduling your time, negotiating boundaries and managing your expectations, all accompanied with activities for further exploration.
Whether you are new to non-monogamy, or have been non-monogamous for years, this insightful and empowering book will provide you with the emotional tools you will need to live a happy non-monogamous life.
  • Published: Jun 21 2022
  • Pages: 208
  • 214 x 136mm
  • ISBN: 9781839972133
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Press Reviews

  • Meg-John Barker, author of How to Understand Your Sexuality

    A refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic guide to navigating non-monogamous relationships of all kinds. Packed with nuance, helpful advice, and self-reflections, this is a gem for new and experienced folk alike, especially those of us living at the intersections of disability, oppression and/or trauma.
  • Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous: Living and Loving More

    Lola Phoenix guides those living in or curious about ethical non-monogamy in their signature no-bullshit, practical guide to polyamory. A refreshing perspective that incorporates self-reflection, personal growth with partners and an emphasis on mental health - healthy caveats when it comes to navigating all relationships, whether polyamorous or not.
  • Rachel Kramer Bussel, author, Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays, and editor, The Big Book of Orgasms

    Lola Phoenix uses their longtime expertise in the field of non-monogamy to guide those at all levels through common questions, issues and feelings. This wide-ranging, welcoming and inclusive guide is perfect for anyone thinking about stepping outside of monogamy, and invites readers to fully explore their own relationships, desires and mental health on an ongoing basis. Phoenix offers practical tips around anxiety that readers will find invaluable.
  • Leanne Yau, non-monogamy educator and advocate

    The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy is a refreshingly inclusive and trauma-informed guide to polyamory. The advice is practical, honest, and engaging. Lola addresses common issues in polyamory with their unique perspective, accurate analogies, and well-rounded thought exercises. Overall, this book is an excellent addition to the body of polyamorous literature and will serve as a useful guide for both new and seasoned non-monogamists.
  • Kitty Stryker, editor of Ask: Building Consent Culture

    Lola Phoenix has written a book about nonmonogamy that feels like an old friend - both reassuring and gently challenging. The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy is a must read that encourages one to consider power dynamics as well as personal care in a way that is mindful of trauma while also encouraging growth. If I had read this in my twenties I would have potentially avoided years of grief and self blame. A gem.